10 Reasons Not to “Fake It Until You Make It"

10 Reasons Not to “Fake It Until You Make It"

Please stop telling people to “fake it until you make it”.  It’s an old piece of career advice that is often shared with the best intentions.  The rationale is that if someone responds to a new challenge by adopting successful behaviors, their confidence will eventually catch up.  Unfortunately, most of us have internalized the harmful message that showing up as we are at work is unacceptable.  We believe that people prefer the successful show we put on instead of our real selves.  Almost every week, I hear coaching clients describe aspects of themselves they wish they could change.  In their drive to belong and excel, they have taken self-improvement to extremes and value the appearance of expertise over deeper personal alignment and authenticity.

Here are 10 ways I have seen “Faking It” hurt organizations and deplete leaders: 

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Networking That Feels Fun and Easy

Networking That Feels Fun and Easy

Have you ever had the experience where you introduce yourself at a networking event and have the thought, “that doesn't sound like me”?  At a recent event, someone approached me and asked what kind of coaching I do.  My answer was four words long followed by an awkward pause.  

I was shocked at my own response.  Coaching is something I’m incredibly passionate about.  ... The truth is I was putting too much pressure on myself.  In wanting to say the perfect thing, I said nothing at all.  I was surprised and amused to see this old pattern show up because, in general, I have enjoyed most of my networking events this year.

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